I've never seen a single submissive, one who is actively seeking a dominant or active in the BDSM or ownership subculture, not a single one, who I would describe as a doormat.

Not one.

That's not saying it's impossible for them to exist, of course, but I think it says something about how frequently they occur. In contrast, discussions about submission reliably bring up the "doormat" thing, constantly, to the point where you'd think the Scene was, well, carpeted with them.

What does exist, though, maybe not as plentifully as the mythical doormat, but in fairly good numbers, are those of us who choose not to seek a life with limits on our submission, and who choose to challenge the experience of surrendering choices and ego and the validation of the BDSM scene for our submission and our relationships.

WE are what people in the general BDSM scene refer to as doormats. They're talking about us. And, they are doing it in a way that props up a precious illusion -- the illusion that there's nothing between Scene submission, and being a useless, unhealthy, unintelligent doormat.